Another Perfectly Good Reason to Hate Squirrels

In Norse Mythology there is a squirrel whose sole purpose is to run up and down Yggdrasil, the World Tree, carrying insults from a dragon at its roots to an eagle perched in its branches above.

I freakin’ love norse myth. Not just for an accurate representation of squirrels, horrid creatures that they are, but because they are full of odd ball goofy stories like this one.

I am not a fan of squirrels, and I’m being nice here. They are creepy little rodents and I don’t care how cute people think them to be, they are, as my friend has called them, “Rat’s with good PR.”

They only thing I can give them credit for is being pretty damn ballsy. The squirrels that pillage in my neighbourhood don’t let things like doors, windows, dogs or cats stop them. They are bloody arrogant and know straight up that they are too fast for a dog to catch them and smarter than an animal proof cat door.

I’ve walked in to my kitchen to find squirrels nonchalantly sitting on the kitchen counter eating brownies – yes brownies.  Then there was the time I came upon a squirrel in my dining room who had managed to open a jar of nuts and was clearing out the contents.

Given the chance they’d eat every scrap of food in a house, just like a rat. It’s only their bushy tails that keep us all from setting traps, poison and otherwise try to take them out any chance we get.

Imagine them scurrying up and down trees without those fluffy little backsides and suddenly a seemingly innocent looking squee of an animal become fucking terrifying. They will eat you and everyone you love.

The squirrel in the Norse myth is named Ratatosk, it means ‘drill tooth’. All it does all day long is bound up and down a tree insulting an eagle on behalf of Nidhogg, a dragon burrowed deep in the roots of Yggdrasil.

Nidhogg, btw, spends its days gnawing on the corpses of the unworthy dead. When it gets bored, it chews on the roots of the world tree – just cuz, you know, it can.

I feel for this eagle, who though it’s never stated implicitly I’m pretty sure has taken a bit of a “seriously, what’s your problem dude?” attitude towards the whole situation.

Sadly the eagle is never named.

With all this literary gold, is it any wonder that my next book is a retelling of a norse myth?

No, it’s not, because that’s what I’m working on right now. 

Though these characters aren’t the main ones in my story they are all in it and the squirrel is a jerk.

Because squirrels are jerks.

Yggdrasil, as pictured in my wreckage journal